Profusion of pink jasmine and not-so-profound ponderings

Profusion of pink jasmine

Like the hedge of pink jasmine that almost knocks me over with its heady scent when I get into its proximity, my thoughts lately are overpowering, full and somewhat tangled. I hope I'm not the only one that gets this way sometimes.

I would have thought by this time in my life I would not succumb to insecurity. But I do.

Is it just a "chick thing" to constantly battle with ridiculously superficial insecurities like...
"Do I photograph flowers too much? It seems that 'serious photographers' I run into in the world of social networking always apologize when they feature a flower shot. Am I showing my amateur underbelly by constantly taking and posting photos of flowers?"
And thoughts like...
"Am I following proper blog etiquette? Should I respond to every comment in the line of comments? Should I respond privately via email? Does it suffice to simply visit a commenter's blog and enjoy their space? Where is Emily Post when you need her?" [Yes, I realize there's a pun there... and I find it rather amusing that in this day and age we don't have an Emily Post for posting.]
Then...
"Maybe I should turn off commenting all together and save myself these mental gymnastics."
Or this is a "favorite"...
"If my blogging friends ever met me in person they would run the other way wishing they never had. I would be a huge disappointment to them if they ever met me and I'd be exposed as a big fat charlatan. And, heaven forbid, if they saw my house or my garden! Their ideal vision would be shattered because it's just a house in need of more repairs and a garden in need of constant weeding."
My poor Hubby (and sometimes family members) get to actually hear me as I try to work through these thoughts out loud. I feel so sorry for them. Like the profusion of pungent jasmine along the garden fence, I must be a tangle of overwhelming nonsense far too often.

I wish I could say that I was also like the annual-blooming jasmine and my own "insecurity bloom" happened only once a year.

Alas, I haven't figured out how to do that yet. Great! Another thing I can feel insecure about.
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7 comments:

Waterrose said...

Love the flowers...to bad there isn't smell-o-computer....

Aunt Debbi/kurts mom said...

You're doing fine. The more pictures the better. Hugs.

Jana Last said...

Great Post Cindy! Now that I've started blogging myself, it's reassuring to hear your "insecurity" thoughts out loud. Whew! Glad I'm not the only one! :)

Muddy Boot Dreams said...

We love you just the way you are...honestly.

You are one of the most real, and wonderful people/bloggers I have ever encountered. And sometimes those thoughts have to go through our heads I suppose...the trick it to let them leave without leaving anything behind.

We love you!

Jen @ Muddy Boot Dreams

Cindy Garber Iverson said...

@Jen--"...let them leave without leaving anything behind" WOW! What very wise words. I think Hubby's been trying to get be subscribe to that approach for years. Thank you so much for your online friendship. It means so much to me. You have no idea.

@Debbi--Hugs right back at ya! You made me smile!

@Waterrose--You don't know how much I've yearned for someone to invent smell-o-vision!

Jean said...

All the insecurity just means you are human — no one can actually accomplish anything without risk! Keep going for it...

Cindy Garber Iverson said...

@Jean--Thank you! Very valuable words of advice! You are a gem.

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